Yakitate Bleach
by Tacky76
Summary: Must know Yakitate!Japan as well as Bleach to get this one! The result of too much sugar and not enough sleep! It's just very wacked and stupidity reigns supreme.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: - I don't own Bleach. Kubo Tite owns Bleach. Yakitate!Japan belongs to Takashi Yashiguchi**

**----- Warning: This story is beyond stupid and reading may be hazardous to your health! I have a twisted sense of humour!-----**

_**Please Read And Review**_

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**The Birth of Yakitate!Bleach**

Azuma Kazuma was a small boy. He had medium length brown hair, which was held back over his child like face with a hairband. Two thin strands of hair escaped the band and protruded forward like antennas. His large brown eyes were the envy of millions of anime characters around the globe. He was a baker by trade and a very good one at that. All because his hands were hot, literally. Having solar palms however didn't save him from death. In fact, it had hastened it. If only his rule had not been, "_The first person I would feed my bread to when I create it is myself_", he wouldn't be in this predicament.

You see, in his quest to create the perfect bread, a bread worthy to be called his_ Japan_, he had succeeded. It was his last creation and was guaranteed to send him to heaven. That's how he found himself here, in Soul Society after eating his bread. This was supposedly the true heaven, the place where good souls go after they pass on. To make ends meet here, he had taken a job at a local bakery. However, baking his breads here had left his heart feeling _hollow_. He had created his _Japan_, a bread made by Japanese for the Japanese that the Japanese could proudly call there own. But no one will know. Furthermore, with his success he had no more goal in life, nor in death for that matter.

His baking prowess did not go unnoticed however, as the line of customers grew longer and his delectable breads became the talk of Soul Society. Still he was sad. Even with a pay rise from his now wealthy employer, he was not content. Something was missing from his existence. He looked up as he was working on the green filling in his mixing bowl. The dinging in the back ground from his ovens told him his baking was done. "Excuse me," a stern even voice called out to him.

By the door, he saw his boss, bowing before a man in a white kataginu over his black kimono and hakama. The most notable thing about this man however was his elaborate hair piece. It must have taken him a long time every morning to get it right. The sword at his hip reminded Azuma of his long, still alive friend, Suwabara Kai.

"How can I help you mister?" Azuma casually asked as he scratched his head, scrunching up his face in deep concentration wondering if he'd ever seen this man before.

"I am Kuchiki Byakuya, lord of the noble house of Kuchiki." Byakuya looked down on the young lad. "It seems of late your reputation as a bread artisan has spread throughout Seireitei. I am somewhat of a bread connoisseur so I have decided to come and investigate."

It clicked. He didn't know the man, but Byakuya definitely reminded him of someone, someone called Kuroyonagi Ryo. "I just finished baking some Japan, number 58, Melon Sushi pan! Wanna try some mister?"

The crowd gathered around the doorway watching the noble. Normally this was an employees only area but the chance to show off the new talent a crowd with a noble as a judge was too tempting an offer for the boss to refuse.

Byakuya didn't know what to make of the bread as Azuma took it out of the oven, smeared the green paste on it with his fingers. Then he took another crumblier looking bread from another oven and slapped it on top. Apprehensively he took the creation from the hands of the grinning child and raised it to his mouth. Sniffing in the warm aroma he was actually surprised by the pleasant mouth watering odour. It induced his salivatory glands to work overtime, but it was not something he would admit to anyone.

Taking a bite he was taken back by the fullness of the taste, the sweetness of the paste and the completeness of the bread. A feeling welled up inside him that he fought to control. He tried to resist, but he couldn't. It was not something he had ever faced before. His body acted on it's own. His body bent over backwards, his hands touching his feet. His stomach pushed forward grotesquely as he imitated a ball. A scream forced it's way out from his throat, a scream he couldn't contain, "MELLLLOOOOONNNN!!!!!!!!"

As he got back up, his bulging eyes and gaping mouth had used up his quotient of facial expressions for the next decade. Composing himself he realized, this boy is a menace. But his bread was too good. He wanted more but could not bear to embarrass himself like that in public ever again! He came up with a solution. It was good to be a noble sometimes. "This boy will be requisitioned to work in Seireitei."

The boss looked concussed. Byakuya had just stripped him of his golden goose. Knowing this Byakuya sought to ease the man's burdens. "Of course, you sir, will be properly compensated."

At a wave of his hands some Shinigami guards came in and escorted Azuma out. One came in carrying a chest of gold. Opening it, the bosses' (1) expression changed to that of pure joy, "Thank you so much Kuchiki-sama!"

As Byakuya walked outside, his curiosity got the better of him. "Tell me child, do you have any other good breads?"

"I have plenty and they're all delicious!" Azuma proudly announced.

Byakuya's mouth secretly began to water again. "Better than that last one?"

"You bet!" Azuma skipped along happily, "I have two breads that are my absolute best creations!"

"Two best?"

"Yeah! They're my ultimate creations!" Azuma exclaimed, happy he had met someone with such a culinary interest. "I call them Japan! Z and Japan! GT."

**End**

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**AN: I know, I know! This is a sad, sad crossover! But I think it's funny! )**

**AN2: Japan – Name of the country, as well as pan meaning bread. Pan is a pun in Japunese I guess.**

(1) Question: In this instance is it boss' , bosses' or boss's or bosses?


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: - I don't own Bleach. Kubo Tite owns Bleach. Yakitate!Japan belongs to Takashi Yashiguchi**

**----- Warning: This story is beyond stupid and reading may be hazardous to your health! I have a twisted sense of humour!-----**

_**Please Read And Review**_

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**Solar Hands Vs Solar Gauntlets**

Hinamori Momo wandered down the long narrow halls of Seireitei bored. Her life long friend and one of the few her age, Hitsugaya Toushirou was absent due to duty. In her desperation to alleviate her boredom she had decided to take this aimless walk. The peaceful spring air settled on the green yards between each compound. The warmth oozed laziness as the gentle breeze carried an unfamiliar scent to her. She sniffed. It was the lovely smell of fresh baked pasty. Curious, she followed it, walking absent mindedly into the 6th Division headquarters. Tracking the scent she finally came upon a small clean kitchen, obviously recently created, filled with a trio of giant ovens. It was the small, gangly boy however, frantically working in the kitchen that captivated her attention.

No older than herself, the boy had the most fascinating set of eyes she had ever seen. Large, soulful and yet filled with a determination she had rarely seen, even amongst adults. He was definitely new, she knew most of the staff in Seireitei but this boy escaped even her basic visual memory. Stepping into the kitchen she thought to introduce herself.

"Excuse me…"

"Ahh… Did Kuchiki-oniisan send you here?"

_Kuchiki?_ Now Hinamori was really curious to what this boy was doing here. "Sorry… I was just passing by when I smelt the odour of baking…"

"Ahh… I see!" The boy exclaimed happily, "So you're a bread lover too!"

Hinamori thought about this for a while. Although not exactly a bread lover, she was impartial to the well baked pastry or cookie. "I suppose so."

"Great!" The boy extended his hand, grinning toothily. "I'm Azuma Kazuma, the head baker here."

Hinamori stared the offered hand in confusion. She looked back at the young boy. _Head baker?_ She stood surprised at his announcement but bowed anyway, introducing herself. "Hinamori Momo, Vice Captain of the 5th Division."

Azuma grabbed her by the hand, much to her surprise and dragged her over to a corner of the kitchen. Opening the oven he pulled out a warm fresh bun and placed it her hands. Beaming happily at her he said, "Try it! It's good. It's my Japan number 55! Anpan!"

_Anpan._ A sweet bean paste bread bun. It was one of Hinamori's favourite breads and she happily accepted the gift. She bit into the soft texture and through the sweet paste. The feeling the welled up inside her burst through her watery eyes. They grew larger and their outlines wavered as she literally floated through the air. It must be something to do with being a spirit that everyone here seemed to be capable of the most dramatic of reactions.

Clutching the bread bun at her chest with both hands she stared in admiration at the young baker. "That was delicious…" she heard herself sigh out loud.

The boy looked pleased then he looked embarrassed. Catching herself staring at him, she looked away and continued nibbling away at the delicacy in her hand.

"You know," Azuma offered. "If you like I could teach you to bake?"

Azuma didn't know why he suggested that. Maybe he was just lonely in this strange new world. None of his friends were here and he knew no one. She seemed like a nice enough person. Azuma felt better about his situation, it was time he started making new friends.

"I would like that." The shy girl murmured her reply.

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Suwabara Kai grimaced at the giant man standing before him. He placed his hand readily on the hilt of his katana. The white robes and the massive, unkempt sword tapping casually at the mans shoulder gave him an imposing stature. The eye patch, spiky hair and multitude of scars only serving to heighten that. Suwabara would not be cowed by the man's killing intent, releasing one of his own to match.

Zaraki Kenpachi had thought to take a pleasant stroll through the countryside this morning. Indeed by his standard it was pleasant. He had stumbled upon a new soul, a man, barely out of his teens stood before him in a blue bandanna. His Katana held firmly in his obi standing ready in a stance that spoke volumes about the man's combat skill. He was good, Kenpachi was sure of it. But what pleased him the most was that this man was not afraid of him, nor his bloodlust, nor the large skeletal hallucinations that usually accompanied it. No, this man had stood there and returned with a tiger staring at its prey.

Suwabara was the first to speak, never taking his eyes off taller man. "I am looking for someone."

"You are?"

"A small boy with a pink hair band about this tall." Suwabara motioned the height with his hand.

"A small boy?"

"I have come to challenge him." Suwabara snapped indignantly at him.

"Challenge?" Kenpachi regarded the warrior in front of him. "This boy… Is he strong?"

"I have never defeated him before. No one has. In the end he defeated himself so I committed Seppuku and followed him here to challenge him."

"You followed him unto death… to challenge him." Kenpachi liked the sound of this mans thinking, he liked the sound of this strong new boy even more. He decided that if he stayed with this man he would meet this boy and challenge him.

Kenpachi laughed maniacally at the sky. Then he turned a wilting stare at the youngster, "My name is Zaraki Kenpachi. I will help you find this boy but in return, when we find him I will challenge him first!"

It was now Suwabara who laughed at the heavens, his eyes becoming a pinpoint of light. "You will not defeat him! One such as yourself has no chance." Settling down Suwabara continued. "Very well. We have a deal." Suwabara held out his hand.

Kenpachi stared at the hand before recognizing the gesture from various textbooks. Taking it, they shook hands. Solar gauntlet met solar gauntlet. Kenpachi didn't know it then but his years spent thickening up his body, densifying his muscles had essentially insulated his body and blood, artificially increasing the temperature of his hands.

Suwabara smiled at the revelation. So there were those, even among the dead who would strive to such lengths in pursuit of perfecting their artistry. "When I defeat him, "Suwabara spoke confidently. "I will challenge you and defeat you."

They both roared jubilantly at this before turning around together and walking off to Seireitei, to find a small boy. Azuma Kazuma.

**End**

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**AN: I know, I know! This is a sad, sad crossover! But I think it's funny! )**

**AN2: Japan – Name of the country, as well as pan meaning bread. Pan is a pun in Japunese I guess.**


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